Filthy Little Lies by J. S. Cooper

Author:J. S. Cooper [Cooper, J. S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-07-05T18:30:00+00:00

8

Looking back, I should have realized that everything was a lot crazier than I’d thought. If I weren’t so self-obsessed, I would have known. To this day, I still have nightmares about that night. It’s something I can never erase from my brain. It’s something that even I can’t seem to get over. I never expected it, and I’m still shocked. And that’s saying something. I’m never shocked. I mean, I’ve fucked men with other men watching. I’ve given blow jobs just to get into clubs. I’ve slept with my best friend’s fiancé. I’ve done things that aren’t acceptable. Yet I’m still shocked.

There’s one thing you need to know. I could have forgiven Dominic anything. Absolutely anything, but I couldn’t forgive him for this. This was too much. This took even my breath away. It’s fitting in a way. It used to be that I was the one who shocked everyone. Now, there’s nothing I can do that will ever be as shocking as what he did. Ironically, the day that changed everything was the day that I thought was going to be the start of something beautiful.

Do you know what betrayal feels like? It’s soul sucking, pain crushing, heart breaking, and it’s even worse when no one but you cares. I’ve never felt so alone before. How can you expect someone to feel bad for you when life blows up in your face when you were in the wrong in the first place? What’s that saying? Karma’s a bitch? I‘m here to tell you that the saying is true. Karma is a bitch.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. When I was growing up, my life wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t devastatingly horrible. I know most people don’t want to hear that. I mean, I’m so fucked up you’d think something really bad had happened to me. I’m just jaded and I don’t think I’m going to get any better.

After my little trick with Jessie and Tom, I thought I’d won. I thought Dominic was all mine and that getting rid of Aiden would be easy with a bit of blackmail about telling his wife. It’s funny how things can change in an instant. I’m not even sure why I thought it would be so easy. I guess that, when you’re used to having your own way, that‘s an easy thing to expect.

I wasn’t prepared to be crushed. I wasn’t prepared to be mutilated and diced into quarters. Not me physically, but my heart, of course. I could barely believe it when it went down. I can barely believe it now.

When Dominic and I left the hotel that day, we didn’t go to a room to have sex. That was the first thing that shocked me. He really seemed upset at what had happened between Jessie and Tom. That had upset me. I mean, who wants to see their guy getting jealous over another girl? That should tell you exactly how much he thought about me.

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